Luke, a week ago we were getting ready for your 5th birthday party. Each day I think back to what I was doing 5 years ago. It is unbelievable to me that that much time has passed. After I picked you up from school today I noticed several times that you didn't need me like you used to. Just the circle of life I suppose but it made me really really sad. I came to help when I heard you in the hall closet getting the kleenex down- but you said, "no I got it Mom". Then I tried to help you fix your sandwich and you said, "no I got it Mom". Maybe you could just play along that you need me more?? Of course when I'm busy with Aniston you always seem to need me then and I feel guilty that I can't help. Last night you ate a hamburger bun for dinner because I couldn't free up my hands. This morning there was no food in the house and you had my last Diet Dr.Pepper and fruit snacks for breakfast. Actually, you thought I was a pretty cool Mom for that! I have the same sad feelings as I did 4 years ago as your birthday approaches. I cried pretty much the whole day of your 1st birthday. I'm happy that you are so happy to get big but just wish it could've lasted a little longer. I dread the big K next year because you have no idea how much I'll miss you. One day you will make fun of me for this post and then again one day you will realize how much you mean to me. I realize how much my life is now defined by being a Mom- and that's okay! Oh, I can tell your 5th birthday will be a tough one. I'll turn around again and you'll be driving.
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